Active Listening: A Guide to Enhancing Communication Skills

Effective listening is one of the most important skills you can acquire, impacting your job effectiveness and the quality of your relationships. Given the vast amount of listening that we do every day, we might think we are good at it. But did you know that we only remember 25% to 50% of what we hear! To put it simply, when you talk to your boss, spouse, or friends for 15 minutes, they pay attention for less than half of your conversation.

Listening as a skill can benefit you to understand the information that other people are trying to convey. When you achieve active listening, you make people around you feel heard and valued. It is a solid foundation for meaningful relationships at work, at home, and in social situations.

But what is the meaning of active listening? Let’s find out.

What is Active Listening?

Active listening is a soft skill that you can develop with practice over time. As the name suggests, active listening means listening actively. It is also known as attentive listening, which includes completely concentrating on what the speaker is saying than just passively hearing the message.

Effective listening redirects your focus from what is going on in your mind to what the speaker is saying in a meeting, presentation, or interview. Furthermore, active listening not only involves focusing on the speaker but also showing verbal (reinforcement, questioning, clarifying, summarizing) and non-verbal (eye contact, smile, posture, distraction) signs of listening. Now that we know the meaning of active listening, let’s understand some of its benefits.

Benefits of Active Listening

Listening is important in the workplace, especially for leaders and managers, to help support their team members and, as a result, lead effectively. However, the importance of listening skills can be seen not only in the workplace but also in professional life. Following are some benefits of active listening:-

1. Builds Trust and Strong Relationships

Undoubtedly, people who “listen to understand” have better and happier relationships with others, both in the workplace and in personal life. Effective listening can help you create opportunities for building trust and forming healthier relationships with your team. If you give others the space to communicate openly and listen to them actively, your employees and co-workers will be more excited to share new ideas with you.

2. Helps Resolve Conflicts

Workplace conflict is common in every organization. People will hold different views and misunderstand each other at different stages of work. Often, these conflicts occur because people see issues from their perspective, ignoring the other person’s perspective. This is where listening as a skill can effectively resolve these conflicts. Active listening encourages people to listen to other people’s messages and understand their viewpoints and feelings. Furthermore, it cultivates a culture of respect in the workplace.

3. Prevents Missing Information

People usually get distracted by their thoughts or things around them in between a conversation. As a result, they miss vital information in the message. As a manager, you need to convey messages to others. But if you miss the information in the original message, your listeners will also get only the parts of the original message. This can result in misunderstandings, reduced productivity, and decreased quality of task execution. However, with attentive listening, you focus on hearing the whole message, allowing you to retain specific information from the interaction.

4. Allows Identifying or Anticipating Problems

With effective listening, you can seek clarification to ensure that you correctly understood the speaker’s message. By understanding the message completely, you can determine if a problem exists and devise a plan to address the problem. Based on the details you hear while active listening, you can evaluate the issue from every possible aspect, helping you tackle the problem at its very root.

5. Helps Gain More Knowledge

Active listening is a powerful tool that can help you embrace learning. Listening as a skill is especially useful when you plan an organizational strategy. By focusing on industry trends, you can apply what you’ve learned and take your organization in a different and new direction. Furthermore, you understand what will benefit the company, expanding your perspective and improving communication with subordinates and superiors.

The 3 A’s of Active Listening

Whether you want to improve your listening skills to be effective in the workplace or be more present in conversations in your personal life, the 3 A’s of active listening are the right strategy. Active listening is based on three basic skills, which include:-

1. Attitude

Attitude is the emotion we feel while listening to others. It is the understanding of keeping a positive mindset and showing respect toward what others have to say. It would help if you tried to limit your negative thoughts before hearing what others say. Moreover, you must understand that you can learn something new from others even if you had strong beliefs before the conversation. You can become an effective listener when you look beyond your preconceived conceptions and respect others.

2. Attention

To become active listeners, it is essential to pay attention. But many people have a very short attention span and tend to get distracted very easily. Do you get distracted too? Fret not! You can practice some exercise, such as meditation, to retain your focus and increase your attention span. You can even engage in puzzles and mind games to focus your full attention without distractions.

3. Adjustment

Adjustment in active listening refers to keeping an open mind while listening to the speaker. When you engage in a conversation with your friend or co-workers, you may already have an opinion about the topic. However, try your best to hear them out even if it is difficult to grasp the meaning of their message. By keeping an open mind and investing your time, you adapt to their perspective better and become active listeners.

The 5 Key Active Listening Techniques

You can use the following five key active listening techniques to become an effective listener:-

1. Pay Undivided attention

Give the speaker your undivided attention without getting distracted by your cell phone, watch, or other devices. Some non-verbal cues can help you pay more attention to the speaker, such as:-

Directly looking at the speaker
Putting aside distracting thoughts
Refraining from mentally denying the speaker’s ideas
Listening to the speaker’s body language

2. Show That You Are Listening

Just listening is not enough. Listening as a skill requires using your body language and gestures to show the speaker that you are engaged.

Nod or smile occasionally
Encourage the speaker by making small verbal comments, such as “uh-huh” or “yes.”
Make sure that your posture is opening and inviting

3. Provide Feedback

As an active listener, your role is to understand what the other person is saying. Active listening requires an open mind. Your assumptions, judgments, beliefs, and personal filters can distort what you hear. Therefore, you should try to understand the speaker’s point of view without forming any predetermined notions. This may require you to ask questions and clarify certain points. If you are unsure if you understood something, wait for the speaker to pause, and then you can ask questions like “Did you mean that…” or “I am not sure if I understood your point about…”.

4. Avoid Interruptions

“If we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would have two tongues and one ear.” - Mark Twain.

Being interrupted in between delivering a message is frustrating for the speaker. It gives an impression that you don’t have time or do not value what they have to say. A pause or a few seconds of silence in their conversation is not your cue to jump in. Allow the other person to finish before asking your questions. This will also make it easier for you to understand their message.

5. Respond Appropriately

Attentive listening requires first understanding the speaker, and second being understood as the listener. Once you’ve understood the speaker’s needs, wants, and pain points, reflect your understanding by paraphrasing or summarizing what you have learned. Only after understanding the other’s perspective should you introduce your own feelings, ideas, and suggestions.

To put it simply, the following are the Do’s and Don’ts of active listening:-

Do’s

Give the speaker your full attention
Keep comfortable eye contact
Keep an open mind to what the speaker is saying
Display verbal and non-verbal cues to show that you are listening
Paraphrase or summarize the speaker’s message

Don’ts

Judge
Interrupt
Think about what you will say next
Be defensive
Offer advice or solutions before the speaker finishes

Active Listening in Personal Life

Studies have shown that those who actually ‘listen’ have more successful relationships in their personal life.

The inability to listen is one of the primary causes of misunderstandings and conflicts for people in their interpersonal relationships. Often people are convinced they are excellent listeners. But when asked, they cannot give a summary of what the other person was saying. This is especially true for partners. People are usually busy preparing their defenses when the other person is listing their complaints. Listener’s inability to listen actively redirects the focus away from the speaker toward the listener, causing the speaker to become irritated.

The importance of listening skills in personal life cannot be overemphasized. There are two different types of listening: “listening to understand” and “listening to respond.” While most people may think they are listening to understand, what they are actually doing is thinking about what to say and waiting to respond. The few people who ‘listen to understand’ have greater satisfaction and stronger bonds in their interpersonal relationships than others.

Practicing active listening can improve your communication skills and ultimately help you strengthen your relationships.

Active listening is a relationship skill, the best gift for your interpersonal relationships if practiced and mastered.
Listening as a skill is an activity where you concentrate on understanding your partner’s point of view than waiting for your turn to speak.
Listening is also an emotional skill where you refrain from engaging in counter-arguments when the other person is listing their complaints.
Effective listening shows that you are interested in what the other person has to say.
It also requires paying attention to their body language to understand their feelings.
A good listener knows the value of asking questions to show interest in the conversation and encourage the person to speak. It is a better tool than explaining what you think about their problem.
When someone close to you talks about their problems or distress, you may want to fix their problems right away. However, interrupting in between can make the person frustrated rather than solving their problems.

Therefore, mastering the skill of active listening is critical to forming better relationships in your personal life.

Active Listening in Professional Life

Frequently, we encounter people in our workplaces that seem difficult to communicate with, especially because of a lack of effective listening skills. It can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, or missing information. This is why listening is important in the workplace. It is so important that employers in various companies offer listening skills training for their employees.

Active listening is a highly valued communication skill that helps you focus completely on the speaker, understand their message, grasp the information, and respond appropriately. Practicing attentive listening can help you build and maintain relationships in a workplace, solve problems, improve operations, and retain information such as procedures, instructions, and expectations. Whether you are seeking a new opportunity, striving to earn a promotion, or improving yourself in your current role, this soft skill can help you succeed in your professional life.

How can you become a good public speaker by practicing active listening?

To be a good speaker, you need to be a good listener first.

The first step in public speaking is to know the audience. To accomplish that, you need to set aside your expectations, ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say before shaping your content. Active listening can help you focus on the needs and wants of the people regarding the content of your speech. Even while giving the speech, one important aspect of public speaking is to stop and listen to questions from the audience. To make the most of these questions and comments from the audience, a speaker must embrace effective listening.

Active listening in public speaking refers to listening carefully to what people say and thinking about how to respond. Delivering your message and not listening to the audience cannot make you an effective public speaker. The following are some tips to practice active learning while addressing a group of people:-

Make eye contact while the person is asking the question. Do not engage in other activities, such as drinking water.
Pay close attention to their words and tone.
Notice the facial expressions and body language of the person.
Engage in verbal or non-verbal cues such as a nod or words like “I see” to signal that you are following their question.
Thank the person for their question.
Before responding, pause to reflect on what you’ve heard. Do not respond before the person finishes their question.
Seek clarification if you didn’t understand what they meant to ask.
Paraphrase the question, especially if it is lengthy. It helps confirm that you were paying attention. Moreover, it gives you time to prepare your answer.
Always be respectful of other person’s opinions while answering the question.

How Can You Teach Your Kids About Active Listening?

Listening as a skill is crucial for your little one in their development. Teaching your children active listening at an early age can help them form strong relationships in their personal life. Moreover, it helps them imbibe more information in the classroom and offers excellent opportunities for the child to engage with the world around them. Following are the ways to teach your child to become an active listener:-

1. Practice Eye Contact

People who keep eye contact while listening are considered active, friendly, warm, and confident. Furthermore, eye contact can help improve concentration. Several things surrounding us can catch children’s attention while someone is speaking to them. A little eye contact exercise can go a long way in improving their concentration.

2. Ask Questions

Another way to actively listen and retain information is to ask questions about the content. You can read a story with your child and ask questions at the end about the story. Furthermore, you should encourage them to ask questions along the way if they are unable to understand anything. This ensures understanding and shows that they are listening.

3. Play Listening Games

Active listening activities can help your kid have fun and learn simultaneously. You can play a voice game by having them close their eyes and playing a sound. The sound may be anything, ranging from an animal or a pot whistling to a car horn or a clap. Ask them to listen carefully and describe what they hear. You can also arrange a drawing exercise where you ask the child to listen as you describe a scene. The child can draw what they hear in your description. Furthermore, you can play a “spot the change” game where you read them a story and read the story again with some changes. You can ask the kid to clap their hands when they notice the change.

4. Work on Limiting Interruptions

Avoid interrupting your kid when they are speaking to you. Use positive indicators like nodding, smiling, or saying positive words to encourage them and show that you are interested. The child will notice what an active learner looks like and try to mimic your actions. Similarly, discuss with them the importance of waiting for their turn. Suggest alternatives like raising their hand in the classroom or waiting for the person to finish their thoughts. This can help improve their effective listening skills.

5. Communicate Slowly and Clearly

While providing instructions to your kid about completing a series of tasks, communicate slowly and clearly. You can avoid overwhelming them and losing their attention by offering tasks one at a time.

Wrapping Up!

Practicing effective listening techniques can help children build listening skills and become better communicators from the early years of their life. Old habits are hard to break. However, active listening skills are something that you can and should develop to form successful relationships in your personal and professional life. Therefore, you will need to make a conscious effort to improve your listening skills.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the four skills of active listening?

Attentive listening involves more than just hearing the other person speak. Good listeners constantly try to understand what others are saying, regardless of how unclear the message is. It involves not only decoding verbal messages but also deciphering non-verbal cues such as body language and facial expressions. The four skills that you need for active listening include:-

Paying attention
Withholding judgment
Clarifying doubts
Summarizing the content
Responding appropriately

What are the 3 A’s of active learning?

Active listening is a conscious activity based on three basic skills, also known as the 3 A’s of active listening. These skills include:-

Attitude: It involves showing respect to others when they are speaking.
Attention: It involves focusing completely on the speaker without getting distracted by the surroundings or your own thoughts.
Adjustment: It involves keeping an open mind while listening to the speaker.

What are the types of active listening?

Listening as a skill is a key component of effective communication. Regardless of its type, listening is critical to understanding what the other person is trying to say. The three main types of active listening include:-

Informational listening: You are engaged in informational listening when you listen to learn something.
Critical listening: You engage in critical listening to evaluate what is being said. It involves decision-making or problem-solving.
Empathic listening: It involves listening to the speaker to understand their feelings and emotions.

What is the importance of listening skills?

A good listener receives and interprets the speaker’s message accurately. Listening skills are important because they help:-

Reduce misunderstandings
Limits judgments
Builds empathy
Increases productivity
Improves business relationships

Why is listening important?

Listening is important as it is one of the essential soft skills for effective communication. It is not something that happens on its own; it is an active process in which the person decides to understand the speaker’s message. Not only does listening improves your ability to understand the meaning of the message better, but it also improves people’s experience of speaking to you.